I read somewhere that Americans have become unhealthier statistically because of the recession. WTF??

You don't need money to exercise! I'm going to try and show that you can get in to shape without spending money - use your environment creatively and you can succeed in attaining better health. My dad is a retired coach and P.E. teacher, and much to his chagrin I've been a lazy ass my whole life. Maybe I can finally put his knowledge to good use, as well as shape up and make him proud!

If you have a creative idea to share be sure to let me know ! I'll post the best photos/videos/links here.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Beefless Beef?

I never eat at Taco Bell, I'll be honest.  Nothing there I like and everything tastes like chemicals to me.  Now they face a lawsuit because their 'beef' contains less than 40% 'animal flesh'.  Less than 40%!  The USDA 'standard' for 'beef' is only 40% 'animal flesh' and they couldn't even hit that mark!  OMG!  What prey tell is the other 60-65% ?  This is the question you should be asking.  If I do fast food Mexican, its a simple quesadilla from Del Taco.  But in general avoid fast food - since apparently its only 'fast' and can't even legally be called 'food'....

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Increase the Fun Factor

This is great - except in real-life no one gives a crap if you are having fun or not.  So it is up to you.  I personally always take the stairs - I tend to kind of fancy-prance my way up and down.  Like hop scotch.  Or see how many you can skip at a time - that's hard.  For bonus rounds try a slinky on an escalator.  Not really a fitness thing, just mostly annoys those people riding up on it.  I am easilly amused what can I say.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Do The Math

Don't be a dumbass - the calories are listed next to the food items on the menu!  What are you doing eating at a fast food restaurant anyway??  OK OK so I hit up In-N-Out per usual on my road trip, but because of the listed calories I only ordered a cheeseburger, and not the milkshake that I usually enjoy with it.  In fact, I didn't order the shake BECAUSE of the listed calories, which were MORE than the cheeseburger!!  You can do this - its easy.  Like the knight said "Choose wisely."

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Single in your 40s

Tragically this routine really hits home.  Why I am 'maintaining this shit'....

Off-Road Running

So not unlike the pine air fresheners in Repo Man, my life is often linked by the "coincidence chain".  Its no secret that racers of all disciplines are also usually incredibly fit - even race car drivers are athletes.  I met Danica Patrick last week and she's all muscle.  Tiny, but still could kick your ass!  Very inspiring (and she's HOT! in person!!)  Point being they work out.  Its unrealistic to think just riding your dirt bike is enough.  To test the theory I rode a dirt bike every day for a year - and in the end still sported man tits.  Not enough.  So I'm running now.  Its a very efficient way to exercise time-wise.  And Dirt Rider has a great article this month on off-road running, which is exactly what I am doing.  Running on the varied and soft terrains gets you tired faster and works more muscle groups than plodding along the sidewalk.  Plus, its like a nature hike, only faster and more challenging (read 'interesting').  Now I call it 'feeding the hawk', as a few times now I've spooked up a meal for the hawk who has learned I might flush a meal out of the bushes for him, so he shadows me thru his territory.  Which seems to work out for him!  Watching a hawk snatch up a meal is way cooler than dodging panhandlers at the local gas station, and a great distraction - as honestly I am not a big fan of exercise.  Really was hoping the 'ride a dirt bike every day' would do it.... or better yet, just watching helmet cam vids.  Nope.  Gotta get off your ass if you want the payoff...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Its hard to stay on any kind of diet and exercise regimen when you travel - but that's still no excuse.  Especially if you travel a lot or for extended periods of time.  This is me speaking from experience; I gained a nice big pot belly in Ireland that I named "Murphy" that only months of mountain biking finally has got me down to my pre-pubbing weight.  Sheesh.  So don't make the same mistakes.  Easy enough to get exercise and eat healthy.  Or at least try.  When I dine out I try to eat the healthiest and most difficult thing to prepare on the menu.  I usually order fish, as I never make fish at home (don't be impressed - I don't make chicken, beef, or pork at home either - not because of any anti-meat mantra but just because I'm too lazy).  I love a good Caesar or Greek salad too.  Both are not exactly 'healthy' but better than the chili fries.  And I bet your hotel has a spa or recreation room.  Mine always do.  You'd be surprised how energizing a run on the treadmill is or maybe a lap in the pool.  Exercise will refresh you more than a nap will.  I know, it makes no sense.  Last week after a long day in the car and stomping around the Hoover dam the last thing you'd want to do is go for a run.  But my buddy and I hit the gym and consequently were energizer bunnies until the wee hours of the morning in a city that doesn't sleep anyway.  No gym at the hotel?  I bet they have stairs....  Hobble your lip - no excuses!
Never realised this was such a pervasive fear.

Monday, January 10, 2011


Alcohol consumption is a very complex topic in health and fitness.  There is strong data to suggest MODERATE consumption (like a glass of wine or two a day) is actually really good for you.  I hate wine, and unless I'm in Germany, beer is nothing I'm interested in.  I really am not much of a drinker, and the older I get the lower my alcohol tolerance seems to be.  Obviously beer and mixed drinks are very calorie rich, so stick to shots of clear straight alcohol.  If that's too hard core for you (I generally do straight shots of tequila when I'm in the mood for intoxication, but I've got a cowboy reputation to uphold) something like a Bacardi and Diet Coke only has 66 calories, for example, so you can still party with a clear (if not alcohol addled) conscience.  Frankly this is a silly topic for me as if I am drinking, its to get silly - but that takes only a tiny bit less alcohol than making me feel like crap, and puking.  I'm avoiding alcohol in 2011 but thought I'd just give my two cents on the topic.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

You have a remarkable grasp for the obvious.

Video games increase your risk of heart disease.  Really?  We needed research to prove that sitting for hours in an intense state of anger and stress is bad for you??  Maybe George Carlin was right - the planet just spawned humans to invent plastic, and now that we've done that, we are doomed to extinction.  Perhaps.  But Darwinism still applies; I don't play video games.  Oh I used to play, but gosh, I felt that sitting for hours in an intense state of anger and stress might not be the best idea.  That and one time driving on the way to Vegas in my delirium I actually swerved the car to intercept the blue 'health' icon in the road.  Oh wait, that was the reflector marking the location of the the fire hydrant and real life is not a FPS.  Oops.  Yea.  Video games are not good.

You are what you eat

I do not have a history of eating well. Like everyone else I can't expect to lose weight without changing my diet. Here are some small changes that add up:

1. No High Fructose Corn Syrup.
They don't even let this shit on the market in Europe! Its such big industry in the US that the producers have bombarded us with 'research' and propaganda suggesting its fine. Bullshit. Its not fine. In addition to dubious nutritional value, it jacks up your body's natural satiation chemistry so you always feel hungry. Personally I think its an obvious reason why American kids are losing the battle to obesity (that and the rise of video game popularity, and ignorant parenting).  So be careful!  That HFCS shit is in everything - snacks, jams, drinks, maple syrup!??  F*ck that- DELETED!

2. No Hydrogenated Oils
This one is tough, as I love peanut butter. But your body doesn't know how to process hydrogenated oil. Nothing does. That's why they do it - that shit never spoils! Great! Indigestible food! Uh... pass. There are lots of great 'natural' peanut butter options available now.  Check ingredients tho - super misleading packaging at times.  Is it because I'm in marketing that I hate bullshit marketing tacticts so much?? o.0

3. Grapefruit
I hate grapefruit. Its like someone took a perfectly good orange and filled it with ear wax. But grapefruit is super healthy and helps burn fat. Life is not fair, so I peel and eat one every morning, making complainy faces. And don't cheat and cover it with sugar.  Or sugar substitutes;  all those chemicals excite your tongue and then just wander aimlessly through your body until they make cancer.  Seriously. 

4. Broccoli
I like broccoli, and its super good for you, I just don't dig the smell. Cooked broccoli smells like broccoli farts. Eating broccoli results in broccoli farts. If you come visit me, you might note everything smells like broccoli farts. Hey, you do what you gotta do... Unfortunately turns every attempt at a romantic evening in to the "Uncle Shane's Amazing Ass-Calliope Dutch Oven Adventure!"  Makes me laugh anyway...

5. No White Food
Again this one blows as I love the classic ├╝ber crap American white bread, or even better, Hawaiian rolls.  But its nothing but empty calories and carbs.  Switch to whole grain everything including pasta.  But really you should be eating as colorful a diet as possible - as in fruits and veggies.  Munch on a raw carrot for a snack.  Do a Bugs Bunny impression like I do every time.  Hey, its the little things man....

6. No 'diet' anything
Diet soda?  Seriously the biggest joke ever played on the American consumer.  Why?  It makes you gain weight!  All that crap to fool your tongue in to thinking its getting something sweet is just a recipe for water retention.  On top of that the shit they put in those drinks are super unhealthy, and are known to do things like cause acute memory loss and blurred vision.  WTF??  Avoid sodas, all sodas, at all costs.  Uh, hey, here's an idea for hydration - water!  Duh.